Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, Robbie Coltrane, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Wright, Julie Walters, David Thewlis

Harry Potter is doing what teenagers do at this age. Falls in love, finds a girlfriend and sometimes he remembers he has to fight the evil Voldemort.

The best book of the series became the worst movie of them all. Teenagers giggling and having romantic thoughts and discussions is not an interesting movie. It is like watching Charmed with lots of visual effects.

Gamer (2009)

Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta, Michael C. Hall, Kyra Sedgwick

In the near future people can control other people in multiplayer online environments. One of those environments has teenagers controlling convicts in deadly battles. The criminal with 30 fights under his belt is set free.

Let me think! Controlling other people equals slavery. Making them having sex while you are watching equals pornography and prostitution. Making them kill other people equals murder. What a world to live in. Where are human rights and ideals in this world?

Hiring people to be controlled in those environments means too many salaries. Making them having sex uncontrollably means STDs. Having too many people being killed? Less workforce. Have you ever though of 3D models? They are cheap, they are customizable, they never get old, they have no needs, no salary and they never die unless you erase them.

Other than that “Gamer” is one of the movies that has all the potential to be one of the good ones, but something you cannot figure out is holding it back.I cannot explain what has gone wrong, because I like the actors, it has some nice combat scenes, Michael C. Hall is wonderful, but overall I did not like it. Just wait for the DVD to come out if you haven’ t seen it already.

Up! (2009)

Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Delroy Lindo, Jordan Nagai

An old man decides to make the journey of his lifetime by making his house air born with balloons. He have an 8 year old stowaway and he will meet new people only to find out that the biggest journey is life itself.

Pixar never seems to disappoint me in. After much consideration I decided that I love it. I say that because the story is not really a child’s story. It is about a grandpa who promised his wife to take her to a journey to South America and when he finally made the arrangements and bought the tickets she died. So he filled his house with balloons just before a mega-corporation could demolish it and send him to a retirement home. Isn’t that sad? Also the is the stowaway is kid who has it’s own sad story and they meet an explorer who has his own story and the story ends bitter happy.

If I were 10 years old I wouldn’t understant that, but kids are kids and they see things in theis bubble so they will enjoy it as much as I did.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)

Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Owen Wilson, Hank Azaria, Robin Williams, Steve Coogan

The former museum night guard knows success and fortune at his current job at being a TV-inventor. But when the displays at the museum he used to work  at are shipped to the Smithsonian storage rooms he will realize that he missed been an underpaid museum night guard. One day he receives a call for help from his miniature friends so he will decide to go to the rescue (by breaking the law and destroying some valuable artifacts, pieces of art and the historical building itself).

I absolutely find no reason to make a sequel and repeat the same story over and over again. The only difference is that they have some more displays to come alive and so what? Ben Stiller was on the verge of snoring while filming this movie. There was no indication of enjoying this. Hank Azaria was the only thing positive thing in the whole movie.

Don’t waste your time on the movies. Rent it on DVD.

Star Trek (2009)

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Winona Ryder, Jennifer Morrison

The relaunch of the classic TV-Series is giving as a new story of how things could turn out in the future of our planet. So Trekkies forget everything you knew about Kirk and learn the new facts. The ones you didn’t know about the story I’m sure you had a great time.

I have seen all the episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space 9 and Voyager and I don’t know if I am a Trekkie, but I really enjoyed it. The movie is an adrenaline pump. The story has huge black holes, but who cares when you have fighting, explosions, starships and lots of well made special-fx.

From the time of the first trailers and photos that where presented to the eager audience I was wondering how did such a young person became a captain of one of the largest starships of the Federation. Now I know. You have to know the right person to put you in the right place. Life is not fair. Kirk is the only person in every military history of any country in any galaxy who did not finish training and became a captain without been a Lieutenant or Commander or Lieutenant Commander whatever. So forget being a good and honest guy. Cheat your way to the top.

Also it is a known fact to Trekkies that Vulkans have a condition that is called Pon Far. According to that they feel uncontrollably horny and they need to mate, no questions asked. But in this movie Spock, who is the world’s most famous Vulkan, has a girlfriend. Poor Uhura! (Yes, that’s her!) You must be the worlds most patient (stupid) person in the world. It is a difficult decision to know, as a human, that you are going to have sex every seven years. Isn’t a relationship between a man and woman without sex called friendship?

Driven to Kill (2009)

Steven Seagal

Ruslan is an ex-Russian mobster. When someone tries to kill his daughter at her wedding day he will seek revenge against his old nemesis.

I have the highest respect for Steven Seagal, because he is the only person who can kill 5 men in row with a golden credit card. Also he is the only person who can kill hundreds of people in a movie without sweating or change a face expression, because he is a cool guy. I do not know if he has a second expression to show us, but this is an action movie and you just need one cool expression either when you pee or stab someone multiple times with a rusty spoon.

I don’t know if I should recommend anyone see this movie. Russian mobsters are way out of fashion. Now the big thing is terrorism from the least expected people (see 24). Also it is out of fashion to be too much of a macho man when you have the law enforcement people to help you out and DNA to prove the one who was holding the gun. Also Seagal is twice the man he used to be ( in body mass) and sometimes his pronunciation reminded me of Silverster Stalone. I will give him credit though, because he is in better shape than he used to be in years.

I have to admit that I watched the movie for one reason only. His name is Steven Seagal. You messed with his daughter prepare to die.

Fast & Furious (2009)

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez

Dom Toretto is a refugee and returns to avenge the murder of his girlfriend. He will work with Brian O’ Connor who is an FBI agent to bring down a drug baron. For that purpose they will do what they do best, drive unsafely fast and brake few rules.

This is the fourth of the movie series. The problems with that is that usually when the first movie is 100%, the second is 50%, the third is 25% and so on. Here, the first was a great movie, the second was rubbish, the third was entertaining with an annoying protagonist and the fourth is as good as the first. In the film industry everything is possible.

Michelle Rodriguez is advertised like she has a really big part, but she dies the first 10 minutes. It was surprisingly funny.

Other than that there was a lot of action, a lot of adrenalin, a lot of beautiful women and a lot of nice cars.

The City (2008)

Whitney Port, Jay Lyon, Erin Lucas, Adam Senn, Olivia Palermo, Samantha Swetra

This is one TV-Series that is supposed to be a reality or something and shouldn’t exist in the first place. If those stories are true then I feel sorry about these people, because their lives are so boring that I am sure they will become drug addicts if they do not kill themselves from boredom.

Firstly, the only thing they do besides their work is having coffee and chat or having dinner and chat.

Second, what they are chatting about is irrelevant, because they seem to repeat over and over again “OK!” and “Oh, Great!” and “Fine!”

Third, Whitney Port is having a relationship with a guy, but he is not really her boyfriend and she is “tasting” other guys too. So when she tells him that she had dinner with someone she didn’t know he became the prime male and proposed her to become boyfriend and girlfriend.

And last but not least, we know how lame your conversations are, but do not let everybody know that your guy might be cheating on you. It doesn’t look good especially for you. This is where “Everything is great and fine” should be used for. Plus, nobody really cares.

Ain’t that boring? Do something else. Like, the collage of yours can stub you in the back and make you look incompetent at work and then you can have a girl fight and pull each others hair. You can go for a hike and get lost in the woods and have to survive eating worms for a weekend. Of course one of you has to break a leg. And even better, have a car accident and leave the man behind so that he can come and avenge you slowly, but painfully. Damn, I am so good.

And here is the parody of the hills. So fun!

Bolt (2008)

John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton, Malcolm McDowell, James Lipton, Greg Germann

Bolt is the star of a tv-series that never left the set and believes he has super-powers. One day he will leave in order to save his best friend Penny, but on the way he will realize that all that he thought of himself was a lie. A stray cat and a hamster will help him and he will finally discover what it means to be a real dog.

While I was watching this movie I wanted to squeeze all the characters. They look so adorable. And the story is going so well that I have nothing negative to say.

Scooby-Doo and the Samurai Sword (2009)

Casey Kasem, Frank Welker, Mindy Cohn, Grey DeLisle, Kelly Hu, Kevin Michael Richardson, Sab Shimono, George Takei, Gedde Watanabe, Keone Young, Brian Cox

The team visits Japan when Daphne participates in a fighting championship. There they find themselves against the mystery of the Black Samurai who seeks to return to life and take revenge. They will travel in various places in order to solve it and as always they succeed.

The story of Scooby Doo and his friends is the same over and over again, yet I cannot stop liking it. It is like watching something new and the fun is all the same.